


Back to December

by tomatopudding



Series: Life Imitates Art [9]
Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 07:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomatopudding/pseuds/tomatopudding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is part of a series of Life on Mars fics based on songs. Note, they are not necessarily songfics, but they are what popped into my head while I had the song playing on repeat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back to December

**Author's Note:**

> sung by Taylor Swift

It’s been several months since they saw each other. Gene is always acutely aware of how long it’s been, but it feels much more real this time around. Maybe it’s because his birthday just passed and, for the first time in years, they didn’t talk to each other. He had almost expected a text from Sam with some cheesy quote or horrible joke, signed as always with those Xs and Os that he loved so much. 

Sam’s birthday had passed too, but Gene hadn’t made any sort of move either. He was more scared than he wanted to admit. He had drafted a few texts but deleted them before he could bring up the courage to actually send them.

It started on the day after of his birthday. Gene quite suddenly couldn’t sleep, staying up all night with those final words ringing in his ears. That day in December when everything went down the toilet in a fit of insecurity. Gene wished that he could go back in time and kick himself in the shins and push himself down the stairs before he could say those words.

One of the roses Sam had given him was pressed between the pages of his copy of Gulliver’s Travels. Gene never read it, it had been Sam’s favorite. He opened it now and the dried flower fell out. He tried to catch it but it floated to the floor, graceful and slow, landing right beside his bare foot.

Something stirred in his chest, a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. Gene pulled out his mobile and scrolled through his contacts. The number was still there, yet another thing he had been too afraid to get rid of. He hit dial before the strength left him.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUwxKWT6m7U
> 
> I'm so glad you made time to see me.  
> How's life? Tell me how's your family.  
> I haven't seen them in a while.  
> You've been good, busier than ever,  
> We small talk, work and the weather,  
> Your guard is up and I know why.  
> Because the last time you saw me  
> Is still burned in the back of your mind.  
> You gave me roses and I left them there to die.
> 
> So this is me swallowing my pride,  
> Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"  
> And I go back to December all the time.  
> It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.  
> Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.  
> I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.  
> I go back to December all the time.
> 
> These days I haven't been sleeping,  
> Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.  
> When your birthday passed and I didn't call.  
> And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,  
> I watched you laughing from the passenger side.  
> Realized that I loved you in the fall.
> 
> And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind  
> You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".
> 
> So this is me swallowing my pride  
> Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."  
> And I go back to December all the time.  
> It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
> Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.  
> I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind  
> I go back to December all the time.
> 
> I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,  
> So good to me, so right  
> And how you held me in your arms that September night --  
> The first time you ever saw me cry.
> 
> Maybe this is wishful thinking,  
> Probably mindless dreaming,  
> But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.
> 
> I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.  
> So if the chain is on your door I understand.
> 
> But this is me swallowing my pride  
> Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."  
> And I go back to December...  
> It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
> Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine.  
> I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.  
> I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
> 
> I go back to December all the time.  
> All the time.


End file.
